Dave Bear

Careful What You Put Up Your Nose

December 20, 2012

It was a beautiful afternoon a few years ago, I was sitting with my wife as she was catching up on some Tivo’d Oprah shows.  That alone should tell you how long ago it was.   Her guest was Dr. Oz.  He was a few years away from his own TV show at the time and was relying on Oprah to get the word out about all manner of bodily functions.  My attention was drawn to the show when he started pouring water into his nose.

I was suddenly riveted.  I thought it might be a Dr. Oz water boarding, alas I was mislead again.  Dr. Oz was kicking off a new industry.  The Netti Pot industry was born that afternoon.  Suddenly everyone was interested in sinus rinsing.  It seemed simple and miraculous.  Simply pour slightly salted water into one nostril and it would slosh around in your noggin, then pour out the other nostril.  Taking with it all manner of germs and pollen and old car keys.  And it was entertaining!  “Look Kids!  Dad’s breathing water!!!”

Be honest, you’ve done it.  And the first time you did it, you felt like you were drowning for the first 5 seconds didn’t you?  I did.  I still do.  The real fun comes any where from 10 minutes to 3 hours after you think you’ve drained the last of that water.  That’s when a little reminder comes gushing forth.  My advise, after you’re all done. put your head between your knees.  Just have a paper towel or Kleenex handy or your shirt will get soaked.

Now a new development, the powered Netti Pot.  Imagine putting a fire hose up your nose and twisting the nozzle.  That was my first impression.  My first warning should have been the instructions on the box saying to make sure you keep your mouth open.  Something about keeping the pressure regulated in your skull.   This thing is a real eye opener, and a real sinus opener too!  You can run 8 ounces of salty water in and out of your coconut in less than 15 seconds.

I will say this much.  This semi drowning really clears out the old brain bucket.  I haven’t had a head cold in a couple of years.  Of course my memory is a little foggy. . . . .

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